Not Just Another Religion
Today's Fred Column:
All eboooks $2.99! Such a deal.
Dirty Pictures! Really nasty.
Note: that because this is Mexico, the PayPal page comes up in Spanish, and goes into Violeta's account, but the button in the upper right corner turns it magically into English.
Or don't feed the rascal... I don't know. But it would sure help.
Panhandling is not particularly pleasant, or I'd be sitting outside the subway jiggling a McDonald's cup seeded with bait change. Fact is, though, costs attach to producing these eruptions of outrage and sedition -- not much more than $1K a year in direct costs, but lots more in time which, for a freelance purveyor of lies and distortion, is money lost. Granted, you didn't ask me to do it. You don't owe me anything. On the other hand, these curiosities seem to amuse a lot of people, who of course may have too much time on their hands.
This isn't a strong-arm approach. The column will continue anyway. I'm not actually dying. Why, you might ask, should you pay for my hobby when I don't pay for your hang-gliding? Think about something else. But in a moment of reduced alertness, especially if you are filthy rich from exploiting orphans and oppressing children in iron lungs, a few small bucks would sure help. That funny-looking little button above that says "Buy Now" works. Or you could send a massive check to Apdo. 192, Jocotepec, Jalisco, Mexico 45800
Note: If emailing, do not remove the slashes that appear in the subject line as otherwise, to avoid spam, your email will be heartlessly auto-deleted.Write Fred Subscribe Unsubscribe
Other Note: I try to read all letters, but simply cannot respond to hundreds of emails. Neither rudeness nor delusional self-importance is involved. Just can't do it. My apologies.
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See? You are not alone.
Which may or may not be a good thing. At any rate, there are other twisted, brain-fried wackos out there who have too much time on their hands and read this stuff, probably while cleaning their guns. But don't worry. This site wraps its IP packets in plain brown envelopes marked "Kinky Books" so your neighbors won't know. Anyway, to the extent that counters mean any thing, which isn't much of an extent, this sucker gives the number of columns read, not counting subscribers, since Monday, October 8, 2002. Whoopee-do. More or less.
Buy Fred's new collection of Sedition and Outrage, Curmudgeing Through Paradise!
Or, for a book whose purchase will probably get you on Homeland Security's no-fly list, click here and those scoundrels at Amazon will send it to you in a plain brown wrapper marked "Sex Books" to protect your reputation. Sordid wit, literary grunge, nothing a civilized person would read. But you came to this site, didn't you? Ha. Gotcha.
Buy Fred's reprehensible book, Nekkid In Austin! Amazon has the beast. Another collection of outrages, irresponsible ravings, and curmudgeonry from Fred On Everything and some innocent magazines that foolishly published him. Put Fred Reed in the search at thingy at Amazon and the book will pop up like mushrooms on a decaying stump. Tell everyone you came to the site by mistake while searching for articles on cannibalism. Your childhood made you do it. We're all victims nowadays.
Stock up. Christmas will eventually come again, if it isn't outlawed. Possum-Squashing is a better present than an ugly tie. At least as good anyway.